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IT'S
WAR!
(San Francisco; NUNS, 12 March, 2003)
With the assassination today of the Serbian Prime Minister, Europe
was plunged into war...oh, sorry, I forgot which century I was in
there for a second. Let us begin again...
(San
Francisco; NUNS, 12 March, 2003)
With the official announcement today that the foreign policy of
the United States would henceforth be conducted by the US Department
of Defense, the world was plunged into war.
Reaction
among both US allies and those less well disposed towards the bloated
and swaggering hyperpower was swift and mostly complimentary reflecting
the widespread belief that Donald Rumsfeld, the new American Supremo
for External Affairs, is not the sort of person who takes criticism
well.
"France
welcomes the announcement of the streamlining of the US government's
world-dominating apparatus of state; the French government will
seek to expand its cooperation with the US in its grand scheme to
remake the planet to conform to the values and interests of Crawford,Texas,"
said French foreign minister, Richard Coeur d'Agneau.
Rumsfeld
met briefly this morning with his domestic affairs counterpart,
Rev John Ashcroft, to discuss possible cooperation between the two
departments on matters of mutual interest. Sources close to Rumsfeld
have repeatedly denied that he has any designs on Rev Ashcroft's
job. Rumsfeld's immediate foreign policy predecessor Colin Powell,
who has left the now disbanded US State Department, is reported
to be considering going into public relations.
Those
wishing to send salutations (or encomiums of any other sort) to
The NUN may do so through the Mother
Superior.
The
Front PageWar
and Rumors of WarFood
for Thought
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The
pace of modern life is such that it is hard to really pay attention
to everything that goes on around us. Just keeping up with the antics
of our favorite television and movie personalities can be exhausting.
So, when a really complex and vexing nexus of fear and dread like
a war comes along it is not too surprising that we find ourselves
simply tuning out. I know I do.
So,
here at The Non-Union News we aim to make your like not only
more pleasant but also more fulfilling by bringing to you a whole
range of ill-advised and possibly libelous views, reactions, and
fantasies focused on the overwhelming need for large-scale violence
and destruction by the wealthy, the powerful, the ignorant, and
the insane.
No
doubt some will be offended, some will be amused, some will
be made thoughtful, and some will simply wander off even more bewlidered
than they were before. We salute you all.
Hurry....read our
EXTRA!
Or,
Read The Weekly Substandard
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